| Can't you see the walls you've built for me... |
[Apr. 3rd, 2006|04:41 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sore | ] |
so... i have to write in this now... cuz i started up again... things went down... words were said... it was very un climactic... probly not as dramatic as she wished... but it went down none the less... we're trying to see how its going to be living together... i've done this before... but she hasnt and i dont know how she's going to handle it... she just wants to move back to vegas and i'm not sure if i'd be able to just straight up never see here again even if its what she's used to in ex bfs... last night we played at the livery... it wasnt amazing... ZKF however... i was very impressed and completely surprised they sounded as well as they did... good job guys... i'm coming out of dancing retirement... but only for zombie knife fight... hahaha anywho... after the show i rolled with ashley and that one bitch to in n out... she totally hooked up food... it was sweet.. but i definately chilled there waaaaay too long i was falling asleep on the ride home... when i got home i tried to make sense of things with heather and almost got no where... apparently the shitty things people say cuz they're pissed are just supposed to be disregarded... but i dont buy that... when you're pissed/drunk... you can be your most truthful... but... we eneded up talking for almost 2 hours after i got home ass late already and found it EXTREEMLY difficult to fall back asleep after i had to wake up at 4:45 to take her to work then even more difficult to wake up at 5:50 to go to work... so i ended up being an hour late... i really really hope i make my review and they arent pissed about my attendence... work went by pretty fast... maybe it was the time change or that i was only there 7 1/2 hours instead of 8 1/2 but i couldnt complain at the end of the day... i was hella sore though and felt like shit all day... probly due to a combination of everything... i basically spend this weekend recording and hanging out with ashley... she's pretty chill... but i hope she doesnt have other motives like most braods do that suddenly take an interest in chillin with me out of no where... just cuz i'm not in a relationship definately DOES NOT mean that i want a new gf right now or even hook ups... i just dont want fighting and drama and stress... i definately do want chillin hard though... cuz since heather has came out here a year and some odd months ago... i've almost completely blown off all my friends... so i definately wanna get back into being social with all my homies... so... hopefully things end up changing and i can be happy again... until then... i'll just deal... sorry for bitching... thanks for listening...
<3 john |
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| forever... |
[Apr. 2nd, 2006|03:09 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | gloomy | ] |
its been about a year since i've chilled a lj post... and it seems i only post lj with things are shitty and i'm posting again... so put 2 and 2 together... everythings changed and i'm having a hard time dealing with it... i wish things never changed i wish people never changed... or at least not for the worst... theres way too much shit going through my mind right now and its killing me... i cant be all negative... so... for anyone who doesnt know... i got a job at dw a little while ago and its pretty sweet... hopefully i'll be getting a new phone soon so people can actually get ahold of me if they want... hopefully... lets work it out... i love everyone..
<3 john |
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| hm... |
[Dec. 29th, 2004|07:13 pm] |
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7 days... |
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| meh... |
[Dec. 25th, 2004|02:22 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sick | ] |
well... its christmas... its the first one i've alone for a long time... and i'm pretty bummed... i miss my dad and my brother... we just got back from seattle like 2 days ago... that was way fun... even though every moment of the drive for somereason or another reminded me of you... being in a cold van for hours upon hours in places far from home really make you appreciate and miss the things that mean the most to you... all i wanted was to turn east and and find you... the whole long distance thing is really really getting to us... and something needs to happen soon... "slow things down or speed them up... not enough or way too much"... i feel really blah... i'm sick... i just want to be held... jeremy and his family are great... they really make me feel wanted... which is something i definately need this time of year... i called jessica today too... its the first christmas i've spent with out her in like 3 years... and that feel a little strange... i wish i had something tangible... and 300 miles away isnt exactly that... she puts little things everwhere that make me thing horrible things... like... "i'm done kthanksbye" and "just to let YOU know, i'm done" and "i can offically say, i'm broken" what the fuck are these things supposed to mean??? i mean... i dont know if something else is going on with her or if these things are for me... because of me... unanswer phone calls dont help me feel any better about things either... what am i doing? i dont know how much longer i can handle this... lets hope for the best...
♥ john |
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| mmhm |
[Oct. 27th, 2004|06:05 am] |
so... recently looking around the internet at some websites, i've found how much PEOPLE TRY WAY TOO FUCKING HARD!!!!!! and honestly... it kinda bothers me... if you have more than 5 posts in less than 30 minutes... you probly have a problem... STEP AWAY FROM THE KEYBOARD... please... it just makes you look really really... i dont know... trying to hard?! and if you have friends... then you're obviously not alone... so... yeah... you dont have to try and make like you are... sure some broads will go... "awww" but they're just stupid anyways and wont help your situation... so... you shouldn't even bother... braods are dumb... myspace and lj are also but equally if not more lame... i'm too critical... but at least i know i have a gambling problem... fess up to yours...
♥ john |
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| Berkeley...mmhmm |
[Oct. 11th, 2004|11:43 pm] |
so... i'm in berkely now with my brother and his wife and his fat baby and they're all great... oh and his even fatter cat... so... i drove like half way... it was aight... fatty threw up like 3 time on himself... i felt kinda bad... i started this shit again cuz i told stacey i would... but i promise i'll update this one at least 4 times a week... i'm tired... i miss all the wonderful people in ventura and the fags in my band... i'm kinda bummed i'm not gonna be able to go see fall out boy and tbs with krista, marissa, matt, and luke... but thats cool... i'm gonna do some fun shit hopefully... i'm really excited to see chris cuz i really miss him... i'm hoping to get drunk alot up here... to make up for all the time i'm not drunk down there with all my friends... oh well... i dont know what else to write... so... goodnight... ps lyric of the night... if you know who it is... you'll get a kiss...
"I heard from someone that you were leaving... for good i hope i softly tell my ceiling"
♥ john |
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